Impostor Syndrome and why I am so over it now

The best teachers are still learning, the best healers are still learning.

Scenario One:

That is an interesting topic to write about. But wait, am I really the right person to be talking about that? I don’t think I am qualified enough to write about that… Or maybe, that topic is ‘too basic.’ People might think I am not qualified enough to even be writing in the first place.

Scenario Two:

Everyone in this room is so experienced. This one has been in the workplace for ten years. This one has been coding for five years. This one has been doing this other thing for three years… Do you get the gist? I, on the other hand, just left school the other day. I must be here by mistake. It is just a matter of time before they all realize that I am a fraud.

Any of these sounds familiar? Cause personally, been there, done that.

Impostor Syndrome [ɪmˈpɒs.tə ˌsɪn.drəʊm]

Noun

The feeling that your achievements are not real or that you do not deserve praise or success,

(dictionary.cambridge.org).

Impostor syndrome (better referred to as impostor phenomenon) is the thief that robs you of the opportunity to own your magic because you are always afraid that someone might discover that you are not as smart as they perceive you.

I have struggled with impostor syndrome for a while in the past.

Whenever you want to take on a new task or project, this magic robber makes you obsess over whether you are good enough, strategic enough, smart enough, or whatever enough. And you know what translates? You slowly stop creating and shrink to a smaller version of yourself.

I am so over that!

The moment you start questioning whether you are good enough for anything, you assume that there is someone else doing it better than you, and so what you have to offer does not matter.

There is no greater injustice to yourself than shrinking yourself to a corner and paving the way for ‘someone more worthy.’ Because fun fact, no one deserves to own the space more than you do!

No one deserves to own the space more than you do!

That said,

  1. Own your accomplishments. It is time to get over all that ‘modest mindset.’ You see when you are asked how you made it, reached the top, or got your big break and write it off as a matter of timing or luck?

Yes, that’s exactly what I am talking about.

Acknowledge your achievements. Talk about your wins. Yes, do acknowledge your weaknesses but be super proud of your strengths and how far you have come.

You got that admission letter or raise because you earned it. Your story got published because you wrote twenty drafts. You are only experiencing the highs and lows in your business because you were bold enough to start it in the first place. Your art sold because you gave it your all when creating.

It was not just a matter of luck or timing. You worked hard to earn it, now own it!

2. Water your own grass (as cliché as it may sound)! It is so easy to get distracted by what other people are doing! Your yard is the only one that you have control over. Be obsessed about smashing your goals, be obsessed with your path. Because in as much as there will likely always be someone “better” than you in some way, nobody is better at being you than you. Water your own grass before stressing about what your neighbor’s yard looks like.

3. Affirm yourself and your capabilities, and when you cannot, ask for help from your trusted circle. Allow other people to help you get back on track or lift your spirits when you need to feel more capable and confident.

4. Remember, we are in pursuit of flawlessness and not perfection. This is all in the spirit of Flawless by Queen Bee. It really is about confidence and authenticity. About vibing to your beat and hustling for your big dreams despite the errors, blunders, and missteps. Think that thing that you are always putting off until you are “ready”—aka, perfect. Now keep this in mind, your best effort on your worst day (no matter how minute) is better than no effort at all.

5. Finally, fear is boring… perioddtt! All that fear has to say is ‘STOP!’ over and over again. No interesting insight to give! Fear just wants you to stop, just chill and settle for a smaller life.

In conclusion, if there is one thing that I am so over at this point, then it has to be the impostor syndrome. It is a learning and unlearning process, but what I know for sure is that I am not a fraud and I am not an impostor.

It then becomes easier by the day to discard that feeling when it begins to creep in. I am allowed to expand, explore, dream, and grown, and I deserve to be heard.

And so are you!

Just be flawlessly you!

Love and Light!

This Post Has 10 Comments

  1. Vivienne Mugure

    Super proud of you love !

    1. Heily

      Thank you my baby!❤️

  2. Njuche Rispa

    I sure know that feeling all too well…
    Great work 💯

    1. Heily

      Right?! But we know better now. Keep shining baby. You are very good at what you do!

  3. Ngechu Peris

    So proud of you gal💖

    1. Heily

      Thank you Mama 💗

  4. Eunice Nyawira

    Amazing!! amazing!! and keep rising gal…

    1. Heily

      Thank you so much girlie!!

  5. O. G

    Well written. You have addressed a topic that many people face but will prefer to ignore.

    1. Heily

      Thank you so much. I am glad you enjoyed the read 😊

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