Self-Validation: The One Lesson that Completely Shifted my Mindset

Do it for The Satisfaction it Gives You

Whatever you have to do, really do it for yourself. Do it for the satisfaction it gives you.

Ahaa… So working consistently on your craft means that you are consistently showing up for yourself!” said Patricia during  this deep conversation that they were having with Maureen on consistency, self-criticism, and all that stuff.

For context, these two ladies were having a conversation on the need to work on your craft, whatever it is, FOR YOU. Create that content for the joy that it gives you. Make that dope meal because you enjoy eating good food. Work out because of that sense of fulfillment that it gives and because it is healthy. Wear your favorite outfit because it makes you feel invincible.

Essentially, do stuff because it makes you happy, and that is the only validation that you will ever need. This is what happens when you do it for yourself.

Do It for You

This lesson had a major shifting effect for me, and it has greatly supplemented my mindfulness journey.

If you ever find yourself struggling with the need for validation from others on a certain decision, pause, take a step back. Remind yourself that you are doing it for you. That this is what you want and you are happy with it.

It is the need for approval that kills your creativity and your art.

I think it is time that we developed a greater sense of self-worth. It’s time we realize how worthy, loved, and valuable we are in our own right. It is not about what we say, do, or what others think about us. That we do not need to ‘perform’ for us to deserve love and attention.

You are worthy and Loved

That said, identify the positive emotions that come from performing a certain task and commit to doing the task solely for that emotion.

And when the temptation for validation comes, remind yourself that emotion, and be bold enough to do it for yourself.

Love and Light.

This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. ijo

    identify the positive emotions that come from performing a certain task and commit to doing the task solely for that emotion.

    1. Heily

      Hey, Ijo. This comment is it! Literally one of the key things that keep me motivated to get things done.

  2. Tim

    i thought Art by definition is a derivative of validation whether it is now or in the future. i would call this self confidence.

    1. Heily

      Haha.. Interesting perspective, Tim

  3. Tim

    Quick one . What if what you like doing is against the law, against African culture or is offensive to the people around you? will your happiness be more important than the comfort of the society?

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